Posts Tagged judgments

She made the mistake of reading the list of Top Ten News Headlines. Reminded, yet again, of the insanity that surrounds us; the human beasts we are forced to co-exist with. A truth that at times, is almost too much to bear.

Lab worker held in Yale student’s slaying – Mom finds slain bodies of 2 kids, ex-husband – Case casts spotlight on sex offenders – Hofstra student recants rape story – Millionaire gets 8 years for sex with orphans – Teen could be charged in smaller L.A. fire – Bone found at Calif. kidnap suspects’ home – Notre Dame sues ex-worker over $29,000 tip – Woman arrested for spanking stranger’s child – Prison log: Execution trouble due to drug use

She finished the list, turned off the computer and gently shut the lid. Walked to her bedroom, closed the curtains, climbed into bed, pulled the covers over her head; and wept.

Some people laugh and call it cute.
Some people label her anti-social.

Some think she’s naïve, lost in her own world.
Some call her a self-centered bitch.

Some say she’s an overprotective mother.
Some advise she should cut the apron strings.

Some get it.
Some never will.

She didn’t ask to be here. Wasn’t an errant soul who mistakenly happened into this world; sent here as punishment for behaving badly, or waiting for that next big reincarnation, in search of a real adventure.
But she is.
Here.

That doesn’t mean she has to like it. Doesn’t mean that by being “one with the universe,” she must accept that being part of the “whole,” means we are “all one.” She’s not certain if she will ever accept that as truth. Perhaps that’s why she’s here now. Perhaps that’s the one thing that keeps bringing her back; over and over again.

She has a very clear vision of the duality of good and evil that lives within each and every human being. Possesses an uncanny ability to penetrate the façade, see behind the veil, and into the soul where good and evil resides. A gift? A curse? Call it what you will, but its something she has lived with her entire life. Defining and honing in her adulthood. Used as a tool to reason and rationalize paths taken in her youth. Researching and recording events predicted, premonitions seen, déjà vu witnessed.

Her path is a winding one. Her journey is of a spiritual nature. Not in search of God, for she knows where He dwells, but rather to obtain a better understanding of the why’s and how’s of this material world, as well as the afterworld and those who dwell in between the two.

Knowing for certain that when we reach the highest realm of being, we will be shown the ultimate reality; when everything else leading to it, is nothing but illusion; an illusion that all too often is filled with real life monsters, who take lives and destroy souls.

There is a very real battle of good and evil, existing in all corners of the world, every single minute of every single day. Well aware of the ever-present threat, she does not wear blinders because she’s too weak or uncaring to handle the truth of the world. She does it out of necessity; for her own personal survival.

She is unable to return the gift she was given; to lift the curse and see only what she chooses; incapable of numbing herself to the truth within the illusion, by allowing herself to be spoon fed images that television executives and the media think we need to see and hear, by simply tuning in and zoning out. It doesn’t work that way for her.

But, oh, how she sometimes wishes it did…

Just as it began
To materialize
For the first time in
His life

Wrapping his head
His heart around it
Embracing with wild
Abandon

Shifting perception
To a clearer view
Uninhibited
Filled with wonder

Unveiling calm
In the storm of
His life
To his true self
Introductions made

Freedom offered
At too high a cost
He weighed the options
Too much to be lost

He fabricated a story
That fit the bill
Sold his soul
For that house on
The hill

Building his arsenal
Of material possessions
At the end of day
Believing he’s
Made it

She turned the corner and pulled into the only available parking space, due to the church crowd descending on Starbucks after their weekly worship service. The line wrapped through the café and ended at the back door. She stood there in her acid wash jeans, tie-dye shirt and flip flops, lost in a sea of suits and floral spring dresses; visualizing the sign that hangs on her back gate “Hippies use side door,” feeling a sinner in a roomful of saints. Yeah, right!

For years she did the organized religion thing and found herself completely disillusioned by the illusion, and so she happily became a solitary practitioner, concentrating on her own personal relationship with our maker and her place within the universe. Lately though, she’d been second-guessing herself and wondering of the choices she’d made; brought on entirely by the perceptions and misconceptions of others; a dangerous and wicked spell to fall asunder.

Similar to Isaiah 24:19 – The earth is broken asunder. The earth is split through. The earth is shaken violently. So too had her world become; feeling helpless and weak, to a situation in which she had no control, she found herself succumbing to the darkness where recently there had been only light.

It wasn’t until she found herself deep in the well of solicitude, that she was reacquainted with her true self; shown the brightness of her own light that dwells inside. Reminded that no matter how black the darkness descends, how hopeless a situations seems, how hard one is slapped with adversity, the solution lies not always in reaching out to others for help, but by reaching deep, to the core of our very being and drawing from the never-ending reserves of strength of which we have been equipped.

A certainty she has learned from life experience. Something she was never taught in the sanctuary of a church. And so in that sea of suits and spring dresses, the hippie-chick took her place in line; shoulders squared, head up proud, and a knowing smile shining bright on her face; the sting of recent adversity fading fast.

So tired of people…

Screaming for love
When there’s no love
In them

Crying foul
When they cheat
At every turn

Pointing a finger
Casting the
Blame

Refusing to take
Responsibility
For actions all
Their own

Refusing or
Unable

A sure sign
Of the true
Make-up

Is it any
Wonder
I chose this
Path of
Darkness

Blinded by the
Light
When true colors
Are revealed