Posts Tagged beyond death

Been under a great deal of stress of late; having learned that the pain in my leg is not just an increased level in pain, caused by a motorcycle accident I was involved in 1990, but rather a non-union fracture that I’ve been living with, unbeknownst to me, for the past nineteen years. The doctor who saw me in the ER and operated on my leg, twice, after putting the wrong size rod in the first time, told me I had a very low pain threshold and needed to suck it up.

I was twenty-three at the time and thankful to be alive…with my leg intact! So, I sucked it up. Until recently when the pain shot from a continuous ten on a one – ten scale, to an excruciating fifty-three. And so began the arduous process, which will reach fruition tomorrow, with a four to six week recovery period. And therein lies the cause of my stress.

I don’t like going to the doctor for any reason, and I especially do not like surgery; PERIOD! This one, I have been told, will take approximately three hours. My pulse just quickened as I typed those words. Seriously!

It’s not the actual surgery that frightens me, but the anesthesia; being in an unconscious state, put there voluntarily by unnatural means, signing the papers giving permission, releasing the anesthesiologist from any and all responsibility. That just doesn’t work for me. Not to mention the fact that I’m prone to all sorts of unusual activity while in a slow wave or deep REM sleep, and so who knows how far one travels under general anesthesia. I know, I know…but I’m just saying…

Jone, this is a good one for you; can involuntary astral projection occur while in an induced unconscious state?

So, my trepidation reached an all time high this morning and my son, sensing it, was especially loving and attentive. The first time he kissed me goodbye was at the bathroom sink while I was brushing my hair; he told me he loved me and would miss me today and then gave me a kiss. I stepped back and looked at him oddly, to which he cocked his head to the side and gave what I can only describe as a knowing smile. For the scent he emitted was that of my late grandmother.

I loved her better than best. I loved everything about her, especially the way she felt in my arms when I hugged her, and that distinguishing scent that belonged only to her. It was a combination of her face powder, her lipstick, her perfume, her breath, her hair and her very essence. There was never another smell in the world that even came close to that comforting scent I knew and loved so well. Two more times he kissed me before he left and each time he smelled exactly like her.

And so this evening I find myself in an extremely calm and relaxed state; having received her message from beyond; sent through the purest and truest form of love; my child. I know that she loves me still, was able to cross the veil that separates this life from the next to tell me so. She was with me this morning and will be right there by my side tomorrow.

Amazing isn’t it, that the power of love knows no boundaries.