Posts Tagged beginnings

The visit

31 July 2009

the visit

He could see how tired she was, that day he happened upon her alone in the café; and though he purposely took his thoughts elsewhere, ignoring her completely, he knew from her body language that he’d once known so well, there was something amiss; and he couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in her life that was causing such fatigue.

Years ago he’d gone away from her, removed her completely from the equation of his life; but that didn’t stop him, from on occasion, seeing her shadow pass across his wall. Each time it happened, his perception shifting; re-instilling those truths and beliefs he’d discovered while in the presence of her; a presence he once believed was easy to shake, though part of him secretly yearned to hold onto.

While his real life was constantly in the forefront of his thinking, somewhere in the back of his mind lingered the life they had known; that driving light, filled with her laughter, dimmed by her cries, exploding with their passion; bringing something magical to his world of sameness.

His ability to sense her presence from miles away, clouding his memory on sun-dappled days; the one constant, through the years that had remained; though he still wasn’t sure, if what he was feeling was real; or simply his imagination running wild, that caused him to linger, night after endless night. A vigil in the darkness, waiting for and willing her to come.

The rains came, followed by raging thunder and a fantastical lightening show, as he sat in the corner of the darkened room; waiting, watching, hoping; that she would not disappoint. He fell asleep in the chair somewhere around three, waking suddenly as a cool breeze, brushed gently across his flesh.

He opened his eyes and watched in silent fascination; as the misty shadow floated gracefully across the room; then as if willing it to happen, she slowly began to materialize.

She was wild-eyed in her misery, carrying the same tired and worn out expression he’d seen a few days before, etched across her beautiful face. He knew right then that he had called her to him; that she never would have come on her own. His heart overflowing, with the sudden feeling of guilt; for the pain he had caused, because of what together they had done.

He sat up a little straighter, unconsciously clinging to the arms of the chair; gathering courage, he spoke out to her. “I don’t blame you. I know you think I do; but I don’t. I never did.”

She turned slowly, casting her gaze upon him; the veil of her so thin, that he could see right through it. In the blink of an eye, the span of a breath, she was upon him; face-to-face, as they once comfortably lay. She hovered in front of him, weightless; though he could feel her pressing down on him; searching his face, seeking truth in his eyes; as a single tear, sparkling like a jewel, dripped from hers; landing as a raindrop, upon his naked thigh.

He wanted to tell her that he missed her; that he worried and wondered of her constantly. That their time spent together had not been in vain; that a part of her, in his heart, would always remain. And while the words he still could not muster, the one thing she never ran dry of; the truth she saw clearly, in his green aging eyes.

Hunters Moon

15 October 2008

She knew the time was now, the signs all pointing to the Hunters Moon; the owl outside her window three nights in a row, crossing her path at dawn, alighting in the tree and watching as she made her way to the lake; the ring around the moon for three nights prior to the full and the broom that dropped; not once, but twice.

She was ready for the ritual; needing to do it for many reasons; the main to release her self of him; purging that which no longer served a purpose in her life, was negative in energy and influence, bringing nothing but harm and disrupting the balance she now fought so hard to maintain. The new journey had already begun; starting over, alone and unafraid, but she needed to move on; needed to breathe again. Forced to cast aside that which hindered and left her desolate, filled with pain, regret, self-loathing and doubt.

Yass…the time was now.

She gathered her tools and prepared; well aware that this would be the most intense ritual in which she would ever partake; eradicating the essence that had been selfishly burned into her very being and now possessed her soul; just as intended; complete and total, with no chance of her ever thinking about anything but him.

The red clay bowl symbolizing her flesh and blood; desert sage to drive off negative energy, spirits and influences; necessary to purify and cleanse not only her circle of stones that was carefully cast, but her self as well; the burning smoke, the breath of her prayers going out to her Creator; as she concentrated on the connection between the earth and sky and unity of all life.

Her sacrificial offering of a most personal nature; her mane of thick brown hair he once described as creating a picture that would have inspired Di Vinci; severed before the flames, in a moment of determination, sheer will and absolute power; blowing in the wind, her banner of courage, clutched in her fist and raised to the heavens, then bundled with the stone he gave as protection, wrapped in a white shroud and buried in the earth at the center of the circle.

I will be happy forever
Nothing will hinder me
I walk with beauty before me
I walk with beauty behind me
I walk with beauty below me
I walk with beauty above me
I walk with beauty around me
My world will be beautiful

After the ritual, which left her drained of all energy, she burned a bowl of sweet grass, the most sacred of all herbs, bringing positive energy after the negative had been banished; she raised her face toward the full Hunters Moon and her voice rang out above the mountain…

Let me know peace
For as long as the moon shall rise
For as long as the rivers shall flow
For as long as the sun will shine
For as long as the grass shall grow
Let me know peace…