Dear Pearl,
I was that girl of the water, of which you spoke; though it wasn’t until later in life that I learned how to actually flow. Much of my youth was spent swimming and fighting against the raging tide. I still bear scars from being thrashed to the bottom by the undercurrent; battle scars of lessons learned, life lived, discoveries made and mistakes overcome.
I never wanted to have children, for the simple fact that I believed the world to be too cruel a place. God had other plans; casting upon and within me, a new life that most certainly saved my own. From that moment, life as I knew it was forever changed; and I realized what a beautiful and glorious place the world truly is; that it’s the people within that are ugly and cruel; those who refuse, or are simply blinded by the illusion of this corporeal world, to see the true magic that surrounds them.
And so for the past eleven years, I have nurtured, cherished and shared my self and my world with my child, and while I will protect him till the end, I will never stifle or try to control the person he is; the little man he has been since day one. For he came to me an old soul, quite set in his ways already; no doubt ready to elevate to the highest plane of existence once his time here is done; teaching me as much about life, love, living, the human condition and compassion than I ever learned on my own.
While he most certainly was a gift given by God, I know that he is not mine to keep, and so inasmuch as it is my responsibility to prepare him for the trials and tribulations of life, provide him with all the necessary tools to grow and flourish into the man I know he will one day become; I have only asked, and will ever ask, but one thing of him; that is to be true to himself.
Thank you for your words that brought me to this place. I needed to be here more than you can possibly know.
Peace,
Jill
Someone once told me that at some point, I would find one thing above all the hardest to do, and that would be to be true to myself.
I didn’t understand her at the time, because I have tried to be, always. But she was right. Just because there wasn’t another option, didn’t mean it wasn’t ever hard.
Your little man is blessed to have you cheer that on in him! We can only be our best if we are true. Anything else will never do us or anyone justice.
Peace
Someone once told me that at some point, I would find one thing above all the hardest to do, and that would be to be true to myself.
I didn’t understand her at the time, because I have tried to be, always. But she was right. Just because there wasn’t another option, didn’t mean it wasn’t ever hard.
Your little man is blessed to have you cheer that on in him! We can only be our best if we are true. Anything else will never do us or anyone justice.
Peace